Over the last several months, I’ve started to notice how much my mindset and old thought patterns shape my day, especially when it comes to productivity. I’ve also been paying attention to what my inner critic says—a voice I used to ignore while I went on autopilot. 

One morning, I woke up late and didn’t get to do my newly added daily walk. As I got ready for work, the voice started in.

“You’re never going to get this right. You’re lazy. You’re fat. You should have this figured out by now.” 

I stood in front of the mirror trying to decide if I was all of those things. The saddest part was that I believed the words. Really noticing them made me realize how often thoughts like these show up. The truth is, I’ve been talking to myself this way for years. 

Be better. Do better. That’s not enough. You’re doing it wrong. 

Sometimes I wonder—why is she such a mean bitch?

Apparently, she isn’t trying to be mean at all. She’s trying to protect me—from failure, disappointment, embarrassment, or whatever she thinks I need shielding from. It’s a concept I’m still trying to understand. 

It is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. 

The other day, when I noticed these thoughts spiraling again, I stood still for a moment, placed my hand over my heart, and said, “You are worthy, you are enough.”

This is something I’m finding I need to do daily. Like any habit, it takes time to build, and just because the habit is built doesn’t mean it can’t be sabotaged. Old habits are easy to slip back into. So I have to keep showing up, and maybe that’s the whole point.

One thing that helps me is listening to positive people like Gabby Bernstein and practicing choosing more compassionate thoughts. It’s helping—but I know I have a long way to go. Still, I’ll keep taking it step by step, and I hope you will too.

Some days, the victory is simply showing up, and right now, that’s enough.